By now you all know about my transformation. The physical aspect is what you and see, and that’s where it started, but there’s been so much more to it. When I say my entire life has transformed, my entire life is a complete 180 from anything I ever thought it would be AND I FREAKING LOVE IT! The best part about it is that you too can achieve change and create a life that you love. So I want to share with you, five secrets to help you get over the hump or slump that you may feel trapped in so that you can achieve your own body, career or life transformation.
Time = Life. If you are wasting your time, you are wasting your life. The time is always NOW. Most people don’t get started because they are waiting for a better time or an easier way. Newsflash: there will never be a better time and there will never be an easier way. So break free from what’s holding you back and get started. Your future self will thank you for making the most of your time and your life.
2. There’s no magic pill and when it comes to success, very little has to do with “luck”. EVERYTHING takes work. There’s no instant or overnight successes. Even the things that seem lucky had a bunch of little elements put into place ahead of time to set up those “lucky” circumstances. The only way to get what you want is to go after it and do the work. Will it be easy? No, not always. BUT, it WILL BE WORTH IT!
3. Investing in yourself is not an expense: It is an INVESTMENT. There’s nothing in your life better or more worthy of your money, time, attention and love than YOU. Take a chance on you, because if you wont’ nobody will. Invest in you and it will pay off (but it will take a little bit of hard work as well).
4. Make yourself a priority. Yes, that means putting yourself FIRST (Gasp!) and taking time out for yourself. When there’s something you want to do: vacation, go to the doctor, get your nail or hairs done you set time aside and/or make an appointment for it. Do the same for you and your goals. Want to get in shape? Finish a book? Complete your degree? Learn a new craft or trade? Make a reoccurring appointment with yourself daily/weekly/monthly…whatever the time required to achieve that goal. Then schedule everything else in life AROUND that YOU TIME. Life, the people in it and the other things that need to get done will adjust to your priorities only when you do.
5. Change comes from habits. The way to achieve change (or not to change) is found in your daily habits. Write down your goals and what you want your life to look like. Then take a look at your daily habits, actually, write those down too. Then see if your daily habits are leading you towards or away from your goals? If they aren’t helping you then they are hurting you and it’s time to change those habits into ones that will get you closer to what you do want.
So there you have it. These 5 secrets have been my own personal goldmine and I am happy that I can share them with you. Now, it’s time to get out of your own way and start getting what you want out of life and for yourself. Make note of these secrets, refer to them often, ask for help, share with others and let’s make change happen!
I interrupt our regularly scheduled program to have a much needed chat about age. There seems to be this ridiculous notion surrounding age that implies that 30 is the end, and that all the things worth doing should and have to be done before 30. Where in the hell did this even come from? Why is it that people, especially us women, think that once we hit a certain age that life is suddenly over? This premise is beyond flawed. What is it about 30 that makes people think that life just suddenly comes to an end? Like somehow you are a modern day Cinderella and at the stroke of midnight your whole life turns into a pumpkin begins to decay and what remains of you just withers away over the remaining years. This is just another part of the outdated narrative of someone else’s view on life.
And ask yourself why the age 30?
It could just as easily be 35. Why not 40 or 45? How about 50? Why was this age chose and better yet, why does it seem to be set in proverbial stone?
Some say it’s the beauty industry. It’s true, the nonstop imagery and threat of wrinkles, crows feet, under eye bags, receding hairlines and thinning hair is more than enough to force us to open our wallets in hopes of preserving our youth and reversing the effects of age. This scare tactic is part of marketing. The earlier they can hook us, the longer they potentially have a customer. Well they are right about one thing, start a beauty care regimen sooner rather than later is great because like the medical field, an ounce of prevention is worth more than a pound of cure!
Others say it’s the medical industry. We hear things like have kids young in your 20’s because you’re high risk pregnancy after the age of 30…but is it really? The chances are, if you are high risk at 30 you were likely already high risk at 25 and will be at 35. That risk is more often associated with your overall health, medical and family history, wellness and lifestyle. Age is only ONE factor. It is one factor amongst many many other factors. It is correlation, not causation. There are and have been plenty of women over the age of 30 that have hand had children without complications, just as there are plenty of women under the age of 30 that have had complications.
And what countless other ages and false narratives that we blindly allow to dictate our lives? It’s time to let those go!
You aren’t too old to go back to school
You still have time to learn a new craft
You do not need to own a house by a certain age or ever
You don’t need to be married by a certain age
You don’t have to have a baby by a certain age or a total of 2.5 kids for the perfect family
Other than driving age 16 – vroom vroom, legal age – Aye 18, and drinking age 21 – whoot whoot, everything else really is just a number with an adjustable timeline. And in reality, the only the weight and merit that these other ages have over us is what we allow it to control and dictate in our lives.I think Aalyiah said it best, “Age ain’t nothing but a number”. It can be a general guideline, but it is far from law. If you are going to affix a timeline or an age to a goal, milestone or destination in life then let it be because you chose to do so because it keeps you from procrastinating or it lights a fire under your ass to get shit done, and NOT because someone somewhere in drunkin history said it should be that way.
So where did this idea of “by this age” come from?
Honestly who knows. Although, it’s actually far more likely that most of these age notions are based off of outdated history and tradition. Times like the 1900’s, Renaissance England and other patriarchal societies (and even still today in some cultures) where women were mere dependents that had parents who wanted to marry them off to the highest, most worthy bidder and then married and bore children young.
Ladies, we are soooooooooooo far beyond this time and limiting beliefs to continue to bound ourselves to these ideas and allow them to dictate our lives.
Hell science and medicine and our pay grade is so much better now! Times have changed hunty! So quit letting strangers (and hell even people you know) dictate your life and where THEY THINK you should be in it. They have their own lives to live, ruin or flourish in. Let them focus on them and you do you. We’ll all be much happier that way.
Let’s not fear age or aging
With age comes growth, wisdom and a better capacity for handling life. I don’t know anyone that has regressed in intelligence and wisdom. As the years pass, we continue to learn and grow. So wouldn’t we want as much growth as possible in our corner backing us before jumping into a big life altering change like buying a house, having a baby, getting married, etc.? You often see posts on social media that say something like: What advice would you give to your 20-year old self? Or to another young lady or young man to help them?
I know that any of use, myself included, could come up with more than a handful of things to share with another person and about a billion things we would tell and warn our younger selves about to change the outcomes of past decision and situations. Now, if you can sit there and honestly say that there is nothing you would do differently, nothing you would tell yourself, then congratulations you are the exception. However if you’re like most people, you can think of at least three key things, pieces of advice or warnings you’d tell your younger self that would have drastically altered your life. And it is those very things that are the reason why making BIG life choices so early in life isn’t ideal and why we shouldn’t bound ourselves to age.
Doing things younger isn’t always the answer let alone the best answer. It is with age that we get experience and wisdom. Somethings are better when you’re older and we all truly need to take as much time as we individually require to grow, explore and figure ourselves out. Do you even know who you are and what YOU want in life? What can you really do with kids, a mortgage, a spouse when you haven’t finished learning, growing and figuring yourself out.
School is back in session and it’s time to major in YOU-Ology. If you really want to be good at something you have to learn it, study it, practice it, become invested in it. The same is true of yourself. If you want to master your life, you must first master you. When you study yourself, you can understand yourself and then reconnect with yourself. Why is this necessary? Well, if you aren’t clear about YOU then how can you really be clear about anyone else or anything else you encounter in life? How do you know that you are moving in a direction that’s best for you and actually what you want? If I had to guess, I’d say that the majority of us are walking around as fractures of ourselves and don’t even know it. We have an idea of what we want, we may even know who we want to be, but we’re afraid to reveal our truth… not just to the world, but to ourselves. This lack of selfawareness is NOT serving us. So let’s get back to the basics.
Studying YOU
It’s’ time to become a student of yourself and rediscover (or recreate) who you are and want to be. I want you to think about and then answer the following questions. Don’t just read them, actually think about them and write down the answers.
What do you like?
What don’t you like?
What do you want in life?
What don’t you want in life?
What will you tolerate?
What won’t you tolerate?
Do you find yourself tolerating things that you said you wouldn’t or that require you to compromise yourself or your beliefs?
How do you want to be seen? Do people see you that way?
How do you want to be treated? Do others treat you how you want to be treated?
What are your goals in life?
What motivates you?
What demotivates you?
What is standing in the way of where you are now and where you wish to be? How close are you to where you really want to be?
If you could wake up tomorrow living your dream life, what would that look like? How close does that resemble your current life?
There will be much more self-reflection and personal surveying in the near future, this is just our starting point!
Understanding YOU
Once you finish, go back to review your answers and then answer them again. Dig a little deeper this time. Look beyond the initial answer and explore the reasoning and the why behind it. For example: You might have said: “I like to be treated with respect and not talked crazy to.” (That’s reasonable!) However, you find that others don’t treat you the way you want to be treated.
Now, is that because they are mean, not understanding or disconnected from your needs? Possibly, but the most important answer (and the only one that matters) is that you allow them to treat you that way. Everything starts and ends with you. Once you realize this and set the course to change you’ll find that new doors in life open up. To help get you started, I want to share some of the most common root issues I’ve identified about what we need to understand about ourselves and what is keeping us from getting what we want out of life:
You don’t speak your truth.
You fail to establish rules or requirements.
You fail to enforce those rules and requirements.
You are scared to set boundaries.
You settle for what is offered/given instead of demanding what you want and are worth.
You may not even realize your worth.
You may be scared of being judged or not liked.
You may be worried about people and things that honestly don’t matter as much as we think they do.
You aren’t really sure or clear on what it is you want and the things we think we want are usually what society has convinced us we need (more on this topic later!).
The truth is, that we (especially women) most often just accept the treatment we are given. That is the root of the issue. And what is what needs to be understood in order to invoke change.
Reconnecting with YOU
So now that you’ve started to dig into the YOU of things, it’s time to really ponder what you’ve identified and start a course for your truly desired life destination. Take the answers and insight from the questions above and use them as a tool to help you understand yourself better. These are the positive and negative triggers and influences in your life. What changes can you start to make to create better situations and outcomes for yourself. What can you start doing or stop doing so that you can better connect with yourself? Use this insight to help you navigate relationships, friendships, environments and situations that you face each day so that you can live a better life thats focused on you, your goals and what’s best for you. Learn how to check in with yourself, listen to yourself and make decisions based on what’s best for YOU.
As always, write these exercises down in your journal, comment below or share with me directly.
Each year I give myself a mantra, theme or area of focus to help me stay grounded and goal focused. “It’s Me Time” was one of those themes. And it was during that time that I really learned to be selfish and to put me first. Though it was one of the most challenging things I’ve done, I am amazed at the immense value and impact it had on my quality of life and happiness. This wasn’t an overnight change. Rather it was a series of choices, experiences and lessons that helped me change my life into what I truly wanted it to be. These are lessons that I want to share with other women who feel stuck, so that you too can get to a happier place in life.
“It’s Me Time” is a ladies truth series that will explore the areas of life that we routinely and historically tend to let ourselves down in. I want to help you focus on Self-Care and Mastering Your Life. These are areas that we must reclaim to build ourselves up and become the stronger, happier versions of ourselves that we were always meant to be. Some of these topics will be uncomfortable for you to read and reflect upon, and just as uncomfortable for me to write. But, they will be truths that we much face, address and come to terms with if we want to change our lives. I will address the many excuses that we women give ourselves, and others, for not living the lives we desire and instead trying to adapt to an OUTDATED blueprint of life.
I’ll tell you now that this series is incomplete. Why? Because it is still developing. Each day brings new challenges, experiences, insight and growth opportunities. I invite you to follow along in the way that is most comfortable for you, whether it be silently on your own, directly with me or engaging socially by joining in on the conversation and sharing your challenges, experiences, questions and helpful advice. So if you’re not doing so already, follow me on instagram, email me directly at: flexyfitnews[at]gmail.com or connect with me on Facebook.
Your first lesson is that of SELFISHNESS
This is probably the most important lesson because it is the root of our success and failure. When we fail to realize our importance and value in our own lives, it has a skewed rippling affect on everything else in our lives. Whether we realize it or not, the way others treat us is typically a reflection of how we treat ourselves and what we allow. (Now, I’m not referring to racism or other economical, systematic injustices….let’s table that for another day.) I’m talking about those interpersonal relationships with our so-called friends, family members, co-workers, boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife that either contribute positively or negatively to our lives.
When we think of the word selfish, it typically comes with a negative connotation. When you read the definition below, does it make you feel like only caring for yourself is bad?
For many it does, but the thing is, it shouldn’t! I think the misleading feeling is created by the word “only”. It almost makes it seem like you have no regard for anyone else, but that is not the case. Being selfish is not about only caring for yourself, it’s about caring for you FIRST. There is nothing wrong with that, in fact there is everything right about that! So let’s rethink this. Being “Selfish” is about being devoted to caring for yourself and having your primary concern be with your own interest, benefits, welfare. Primary, means put you first. After you learn to successfully do that on the regular, then you will truly be prepared to care for others in a healthy manner.
As women, all too often, we spend time focused on everyone else instead of taking care of ourselves.
This has become an expected way of life that we are all too aware of, see the detriments of, yet still feel disempowered to change. The truth is, we can not adequately care for others without really and FULLY caring for ourselves FIRST. We are not invincible. Our bodies are aging and facing breakdown each day. The things we do (and don’t do) only further contribute to that aging and breakdown process. So we must start practicing better self care – physically, emotionally, mentally, financially and spiritually to help make positive deposits back into our life and wellness – this is what being SELFISH looks like. We have to learn to be selfish, with our time, our minds, our energy and our lives in order to have better self care. It is time to start really living our lives, instead of just tiptoeing around it.
Next Steps
So now that you know the truth about being selfish (that it’s not just okay, but it’s a necessity) what are you going to do to start making it a daily practice? Many of us want to do better, but have no idea where to start, how to start or how to make it stick. Well, that’s why you have me! I AM HERE TO HELP. So let’s get started. Grab a journal where you can keep a collection of your thoughts and notes. I want you to start by making a list of the things that you don’t currently do for yourself that you know you should be doing and also think about why you feel you don’t or aren’t able to do those things. Write it down in your journal, comment below or share with me directly.
We are all diligently waiting for the day where we can return to our normal fitness routines. Whether is a gym, small group/personal training, pole/aerial classes, bootcamps, etc. Although I’m sure gyms, studios and class/training structure won’t look anything like it did before the shutdown. There a few things that we should be prepared for as we eagerly await reentry into our physical and recreational activities.
We should be prepared for change in the sense that some of our gyms and studios may not reopen. Those that do are likely to reopen with a drastically different look and feel. For example, we may see changes in:
class length
class structure
amount of students allowed in a class
amount of classes we can take each day
amount of classes we can take each week
new instructors and loss of our favorite instructors
how or if an instructor can spot you
HAVE YOU SEEN MY GAINS?
Another precaution we all must take is recognizing the effects of inactivity and how it will impact us as we try to return to our regular routines. It’s impossible and unsafe to jump back into the level of training we were at pre Covid-19. The truth is, the majority of us will not be picking up where we left off at. Unless you were lucky enough to have a home gym, fitness equipment or pole/aerial rigging at home, and were able to continue you regular training, chances are your physical activity over the last 45 days has been a depressing fraction of what it was pre Covid-19. This means that strength and endurance has diminished and will need to be built back up. Does it mean you’re starting at ground zero? No, but it does mean that we need to ease back into activity and not jump back into level ninja.
GRADUAL RETURN TO MOVEMENT
This responsibility ultimately is on us as individuals and it starts with awareness, which is why I decided it was necessary to write this. It may be difficult for some of us to reconnect with our bodies and reconnect our bodies with skills, but it can be done! If you haven’t done so already, you an get started now, at home. There are tons of free online content that you can use to help get you moving (you can find some of my free resources here). From stretching to body weight workouts and online classes, there’s endless movement options and opportunities.You can even reach out to your instructors/trainers to see if they can create a “welcome back workout” for you to get started on. Then once your gym, studio, bootcamps and classes are open you are already primed a bit.
SMART SCHEDULING
Now when the doors do open, you still want to be sure and ease back into it. Going too hard too fast will likely result in injury, and who wants to sit out for another 45 days? Certainly not me! If you were taking 7-10 classes a week or taking back-to-back classes, you may want to start with 1 class a day and maybe 2-3 a week. It would be even better to revisit the basics and reinforce your foundation. This will help awaken your muscle memory in a safe and supportive manner.
While ultimately we as individuals are responsible for our bodies and activity, I would love to see instructors, studios and gyms work in some on-boarding and ramp up classes upon reopening. So instead of reopening with the same schedule they had at shut down, it would be great to see their schedules filled with some conditioning, foundational and “re-intro” classes for the first few weeks. Then from there students and members could level back up to more advanced trainings. This way we can safely reawaken those muscles and build back up to where we were.
This means that our growth and progress may be even more in our own hands and we may have to supplement our supervised workouts with plenty of personalized at-home workouts.
Not sure where to start on your journey back to activity? Want to start fresh a focus on the basics? I can help!
Why FLEXYFIT? Well, because flexibility and fitness actually parallel the way we live and handle our lives in so many ways. The right mindset and approach carries over to the rest of your life allowing you to unlock performance in all aspects of life. My journey to regain flexibility and fitness in my body forced me to reevaluate EVERYTHING in my life. During those times of reflection, I started to connect the dots between my personal growth and changes. I realized how my own self-care impacted the rest of my life and interactions with others and everything changed for the better once I regained control of ME. Since starting my self-care journey and redesigning my lifestyle I’ve been able to:
Leave corporate America and transitioned to a career that I LOVE!
Clear up my skin.
Learn how to take care of my hair. Getting it to a stronger, healthier state.
Pay off all my debt
Build up my credit.
Put a portion of each paycheck away and build up my savings.
Declutter my closet and my house.
Upgrade my vehicle (twice).
Learn how to say NO and mean it.
Become stronger and happier in my relationship.
Realize that I actually need LESS in life than I thought I needed and wanted.
AND SO MUCH MORE!
I realized I could apply the principles and practice of flexibility and fitness to every day life to create the life of my dreams. Sound a little crazy? Let’s get nerdy for a moment! Muscles are not designed for aesthetic appearance, but rather mechanical function (although when you take care of them they can look pretty damn good!). So, if we can get our muscles to function better, they in turn feel better and eventually look better. What that looks like applied to daily life is that if we can improve our thoughts, habits and behaviors it will not only allow us to function better but also to determine how we want our everyday life to look and feel.
So why start with flexibility and fitness? One thing harder to change than our body is our minds. Over the years, I’ve found that once a person sees (and achieves) that you can change your body, it automatically and instinctively changes the mind. And with the rediscovered personal power and insight, you can change your life and the world around you.
What happens when we are unhappy and not functioning optimally in life? Let’s get nerdy again for a second! Tightness or weakness in your muscles can lead to dysfunction in any movement or activity. This is the same in our daily lives. Habits and behaviors that don’t support the life that we desire are areas of “tightness or weakness” that result in us restricting ourselves and allowing others to restrict us. This ultimately prevents us from growth, achieving our goals and living our best lives.
By taking control of our flexibility and fitness we are taking control of our bodies and minds to become the master of our lives. We must be agile in order to navigate this thing called life. We need to be strong enough to stand up for ourselves and go after what we desire, but also flexible enough to make adjustments and adapt to situations as needed. I am here to coach you through that process and help you not only become the best version of you, but to help you create and live the life of your dreams.
Ready to get started on the next phase of your self improvement journey? I’m ready to be your coach and number 1 Fan. Contact me to get started!
Do you ever find yourself wondering what the deal is with fitness? Why are some people successful at it and other people…well, not so much? Why is it it that for some people this passion becomes an obsession, and yet for others it feels more like a nagging, crippling desirably avoidable event? How do you actually go from hating and feeling ashamed by it to craving it?
The answer: they made it a lifestyle.
When we think of fitness and getting in shape, the words diet, exercise program or challenge come to mind. These words are often interchangeable, but they are highly misleading. Being successful and winning at fitness is backed by a change in your lifestyle. If we think of it in terms of being temporary, then your results too will temporary.
So how do you make your fitness part of your lifestyle?
Learn to love your body. This might be the hardest thing, especially when we are all so critical of ourselves. At any given moment I can instantly pick out 10 things I wish I could change about my body/appearance. But what I realized is we have to learn to love and appreciate our bodies for what they do and allow us to do each day. From there we can build on that love and take better care of ourselves which will allow us to get closer to the bodies (aesthetically and functionally) of our dreams.
Realize that it never ends. Everyday is another step in our journey, although hopefully there will come a day where you feel like its more on auto pilot.
Habit stacking. We must identify the habits that we have that are keeping us from our goals and remove those barriers. From there we need to add in more of the habits that support our goals. Once we have our good/supportive habits in place, we need to continue stacking those habits so we have a solid foundation for our daily activities. This balancing and stacking of goal-supportive habits will create the lifestyle that we desire.
Understand that there will be ups and downs. From body aches, tiredness, general life, love and work interferences, there’s always going to be something that creeps up trying to distract us. Roll with it, focus on what you can control and know that regardless of what may try to get in the way, that you can’t lose when you’re working on yourself.
Routinely revisit, assess and adjust your goals. Keep track of your habits and goals. This will allow you to make changes when needed and see the progress that you’ve made.
Celebrate the small wins! Did you make it to the gym today? Great! Were you able to drink a little more water today? High five! Did you push yourself a little harder today? Excellent! Did you listen to your body and give it the rest it needed? Even better! These little celebrations add up to BIG results and give you some much needed encouragement and morale boosts along the way.
I’m inviting you to join my quaranteam so that we can stay fit while staying at home! This is a trying time for all of us, and I want you to know that I’m here to give you social support and love in the form of daily workouts. Together, we’ll give your mind a rest and your body a good sweat every day!
Your mental and physical health are even more important during this time. All of the added stress, depressing and scary news reports also have a major impact on our health. However, with all that’s going on with COVID-19, it’s even more important to stay active to boost your immune system and try to remain healthy. I want to help you remain as active as possible, so I am sharing with you a few workouts that you can do from home anytime.
This is a FREE online training quaranteam!
How it works: Each day I’ll be posting a new workout with options for beginners and more advanced quaranteamers. I’ll be updating it weekly until this quarantine period is over. And yes, it’s 100% free, although tips are appreciated!
What do you have to do? Just email me at: flexyfitnews[at]gmail.com and say “quaranteam me” and then follow the daily workouts.
If you know someone else that is in need of training, please share this with them!
Who wants the secret to reaching your fitness goals and creating that dream body? I’ve got the answer…although most of you won’t like it nor will you do it. However, if there’s at least one person that this post touches and inspires, then it’s worth the time it took to write!
Everyday I’m asked about my “diet” and workout routine.
What do you eat?
How much do you eat?
What workouts do you do?
How many times a day do you go to the gym?
Do you count calories?
Do you do your Macros?
Do you take anything?
Do you wear a waist trainer?
How often do you lift weights?
Who’s is your trainer?
Etc…Etc.
And the truth is, I always struggle with how to answer these questions and how much information to give because the truth is, doing what I do WON’T get you MY results. And you’ll probably end up disappointed.
Everyone’s body, current health stats, ability level, determination and goals are different. You can’t do what I do, nor can I do exactly what you do…AND THAT’S PERFECTLY OKAY. The truth about what I did is: I examined my life and habits. I looked at where I was and where I wanted to be. Then I made a decision to take action and change my LIFESTYLE to include more healthy eating, regular exercise, and even a bit more sleep.
So what I do differently is that I INVEST IN MY BODY.
I invest my time, I invest my money and I invest my energy. I pay attention to what works for me, what doesn’t work for me, what feels good and what feels bad. I listen to my body. My goal is simply to be the best version of ME that I can be. Most of all I stay consistent. Consistency is key! We all have the same 24 hours in the day and the truth is that we make time for what we want to make time for. So yes, I tell friends no I can’t hang out because I have to go to the gym, I get up and hit the gym first thing in the morning most days, I schedule meetings and projects around MY GYM time, I turn off my ringer at night so I can rest, I no longer make myself available to friends and clients 24/7. If you put the health and wellness of your body FIRST, everything else can be successfully scheduled around that. Just like you make paying your bills a priority, you should make taking care of your body a priority. You are the most important thing in your life…if you’re down and broken you can’t do any of the things that you do on a daily basis and too often put before YOU.
Change starts within.
You cannot expect change doing the same things. And the thing is, you don’t have to start out big. Too often we go from 0 to 100…trying to change the diet, add insane training, etc…when in reality you can start with just micro habits. These micro habits are easier to maintain and will all add up. So as for me, I decided on a set of micro habits and I’ve been sticking to them every day.
For those that have been following my journey, you can see how the results continue to pay off. You’ve seen me TRANSFORM RIGHT BEFORE YOUR EYES. Do I work with a trainer? Yes, because I feel like I need someone to PUSH me and help strategize with me when it comes to my goals and what my ideal body looks like. I also LISTEN to my trainer…there’s no point in taking up his time if I’m going to continue on with my old/bad habits and not do better and not do what he advises me to do. Do I train everyday? No, in fact, today was the first day I lifted weights in like a month. Do I follow a strict meal plan..NO.
The truth is, unless I’m getting ready for a show or a competition, I really don’t pay much attention to calories or follow a meal plan. While I do eat in moderation…I happily enjoy french fries, wine and inhale anything with frosting lol. However, I prefer organic foods, I don’t drink flat tummy tea (that ish is bull…although it does at least get you to drink more water!), I don’t wear waist trainers, I don’t do steroids, I do not drink soda and I stay away from fast food drive thrus.
I know what you’re thinking, eating healthy is expensive, meal prep takes time, hiring a trainer is expensive….well buying bigger clothes is expensive, the cost of doctors visits and medications for issues that could be solved by a healthier lifestyle are expensive, visiting the drive through multiple times a day is hella expensive, going out every weekend binge drinking and partying is expensive and takes up your time. Clean(er) eating and meal prep doesn’t take that long once you get the hang of it and as long as you don’t try to get too fancy.
I keep it simple and I stay consistent. That’s it! I’m not afraid to throw some money and time towards whatever I need to be and feel my best. Whether its training with my trainer (yes, even trainers need trainers), a visit to my massage therapist, a visit to the chiro, a workshop or a book to improve my craft, healthy food or any other resources that I need to be great. I gave up the non-essentials and I am putting my all into ME…and you know what? ITS PAYING OFF! This is what I do. This is why I am successful at doing ME.
So, ask yourself: what are you willing to give up to get what you want? Are you ready to stop wishing for it and start working for it? Do you really want it enough to invest your: time, energy and money into making it a reality?
Every year the standard goes up, and the talent and tricks in our industry keeps getting bigger and better. With the growth in popularity of pole/aerials and the incredible talent, many of us may find ourselves being pressured to step it up, refine our skills and make fetch happen.
But how do you actually get better?
What are these people that we label #goals actually doing to achieve their phenomenal growth and abilities? I get this question all the time; along with a few others:
What do I have to do to get better?
Why am I not getting better?
They just started, why are they getting x, y, z before me?
Why can’t I get this?
How long is it going to take me to get x, y, z?
Why does my “insert trick/body part” not look like theirs?
If you’ve ever found yourself wondering any of the above or waiting for your moment, it’s time to level up! Leveling up requires a balanced plan of: doing more of the right stuff (proper programming), optimizing your effort, working on your areas of weakness and imbalance (weak point training), taking accountability and putting in the work.
Doing More of the Right Stuff
Going to classes each week, doing the same things you’ve been doing is good, but to move beyond your current level it’s going to take even more. It’s not a matter of adding in more classes, instead it’s about doing an assessment to see what your areas of strength and weakness are and then building a plan to help you build up the areas of weakness/imbalance and fill in the gaps. If you are not following an individualized plan then your growth will be spotty and inconsistent – at best.
Optimize your Effort
When it come’s to optimizing your practice, remember that Consistency is more important that intensity. Consistency is your quality and intensity is your quantity, and in which case, the quality of your effort and practices is more important then trying to be at level 1,000 all the time, doing all the things. There are three areas that I utilize when I’m optimizing the training of my Ashletes and that I use for myself as well. Those are: prioritizing, time management and proper programming.
Prioritizing
This means working on the right things, at the right time and in the right order. What am I getting ready for now, what moves or elements are required for that event/performance.
Time management
This requires us to make the most out of the time that we have allocated to practice. What we are working on is figured out before we show up to practice, that way valuable time is wasted on trying to come up with a game plan. In practice and during crunch time, we eliminate non-essential tasks, socials and any other distractions that do not support what we’ve determined our priorities to be.
Proper programming
This is the progressions that everyone follows. We don’t just throw darts at a board and hope we wake up with elite skills. I have foundational movements that requires mastery before moving on, prehab, progression ladders that help my Ashlete’s #levelup.
Improving Areas of Weakness
If you’re only doing the stuff you like to do, or that “feels good” then you’re missing a big part of the equation, which is going to leave you imbalanced and possibly injured. Pole and aerial are similar to gymnastics and cheerleading in the fact that you need a well-rounded skillset of flexibility, mobility, strength, tricks, dance, and theatrics/artistic flare. To be well-rounded means that we also have to do the tedious, unglamorous work that we typically prefer not to do.
Areas of weakness can often be identified by what you see and feel in your movement, and by taking note of movements that you tend to avoid. You can self-assess or get with a coach that can do a professional assessment to help you identify the areas that could use work. Once you have identified those areas of need, then create a plan to help improve their ability and efficiency.
Improving weaknesses also includes stepping outside of your comfort zone by exploring other types of movement, acrobatics and dance. These forms of movement therapy can help connect the dots, increase fluidity and enhance our creative connections. So that yoga, salsa, acro, pilates, zumba class you’ve been thinking about trying…do it!`
Taking Accountability
At the end of the day, your growth is your responsibility. Your instructors may want the best for you, however they cannot do it for you. YOU have to be invested in your own growth and take responsibility. And YOU have to put the work in. Once you realize that your growth is in your hands, you can start to look for opportunities to help yourself. Some of the key things you can do to take accountability for your growth moving forward are:
Exchange that reason why you can’t for a reason why you should and need to.
Understand that complacency is simply that your desire to change is not yet greater than the desire in remain the same comfort zone.
Pay attention to the corrections you are given by your coach/instructor.
Seek understanding of given corrections and continue to apply them moving forward.
Ask questions. Take interest in your growth and performance by learning more.
Hold yourself accountable by checking in with yourself on the regular. Set SMART goals, track your progress and evaluate your efforts.
DO MORE WORK.
Minimal effort and maximum excuse won’t cut it. If you’re doing the bare minimum you won’t get the maximum results. You have to push past your comfort zone and do more. Now, I’m not saying add an extra 10 hours of training each week, that’s probably impossible and borderline insane for the majority of us. However, there’s a few ways that we can get more done.
In classes, this tends to be more working and less talking and standing around. One of the most frequent things I say to my student is: “you didn’t pay to stand around, you paid to get beat down” meaning, I don’t want to see you standing around waiting for permission to try the move or sequence that we are working on or waiting on the next thing because you got the first thing right…once. We should be mastering tricks, which means keep going until you can do it so right that you can’t get it wrong.
For some, doing more work means private coaching, attending open studio to practice what they are learning in classes, or planning personal practices at home on their own. Maybe you’re already doing this things, but you identify an additional day you can work in each week, or plan to add an extra 15-20 minutes to each practice session. For others it may mean, daily foam rolling or quick stretches whenever they can fit them in throughout the day. Whatever you identify that you can do, you should do.
Get More Out of Your Current Training
If your schedule is so packed that you’re just not able to dedicate anymore time, there are still things that you can do to get more out of what you can do. Here are a few things to ask yourself and pay attention to to ensure that you get the max benefit from your current classes/training:
Are you doing what the instructor has asked you to do? Often I see students doing some altered version of what they were instructed to do or just flat out what they want to do. If you instructor takes the time to plan out a lesson, follow it. If you’re unsure of something, ask for clarification and/or another demonstration instead of just doing whatever.
Are you giving 110% or bare minimum?
Are you focused on proper muscle engagement, efficient movement throughout the move/trick and clean transitions into/out of the move or are you just focused on getting a good shot for IG?
Do you revisit what you learn during home practices/open studio?
Do you strive for mastery or just an introduction to the trick?
Are you on your phone, taking over the instructor or paying attention to instruction and demonstrations?
