I rant because we can do better. It’s important to look at what you teach, how you teach and managing expectations.
Short on time? Skip the video and screenshot these 3 takeaways 👇🏽
👆🏽Beginner isn’t always “Beginner”. Regardless of what a class is called or marketed as or what hashtags label moves as, most of what you see referred to as beginner moves often are not. Feet off the ground for a prolonged period of time? It’s probably not a beginner move.
✌🏽We need better teaching practices and instructors that not only know tricks, but more importantly understand the body and movement. It’s imperative to address foundational elements (movement, muscle mechanics and technique) to make moves possible/unlock moves. Practice on the ground before putting someone in the air.
🤟🏽Manage expectations. Students, please know that you’re not guaranteed to get the trick immediately. It take practice. Classes are incremental advancements in pursuit of mastering the move. If you don’t get the move, it’s not a reflection of your ability or value, it’s just part of the process.
⚠️This isn’t all studios and all instructors, and it’s not just physical classes. I see this all the time with online tutorials and improper use of hashtags. This isn’t about shaming any specific person or studio, it’s just about us coming together to do better.
Ashley here! My blogging and social shares have been hella spotty over the past couple of years. Besides being ridiculously busy, I prefer living life more than sharing it. BUT I have so many incredible things in the pipeline that I’m excited to share. So you’ll be seeing me pop up in your feed more and I hope that you’ll connect with me and engage in some much needed discussions. �In the meantime here’s some fun facts about me and the many things I do:
✨ I gave birth to my creative brain child: Aerial Athletics Dallas. It’s not a studio, but is home FlexyFit, Aerial Ashletes, Slay the Stage, Aerial Ambition & everyBODY.
✨ Master torturer is what my Ashletes lovingly refer to me as 😈
✨ Body & movement nerd. CPT, CES, HMS are some of my fancy titles. The more I learn about the body, the more I realize I don’t know.
✨ everyBODY coach that believes in body inclusive teaching practices because no two bodies are alike.
✨ Aerial Ambition: Creative Business Coaching for Movement-based Businesses and Soloprenuers.
✨ Slay the Stage: my gift to our community and a way to pour into our future leaders, teachers, performers and stars!
✨ I’m a shape shifter that has been overweight, in shape, out of shape in broken shape and back. Now I just want to be in a pain free shape.
✨ I love bending & stretching but splits are my fav!
✨ I love to read books and drink Red wine
�✨ Words & Colors are my Jam
✨ Pole/Aerial Competition Coach. I love coaching all levels. My team has a nice pile of hardware🥇
�✨ Pole/Aerial Competition Judge. I’m a Certified USPSF judge. I also judge for Aerialympics, PSO & Pole Circus.
✨ Professional Beginner. I’ve started over more times than I can count.
✨ USPSF Athlete Chair. Our future is Olympic y’all!
Slay the Stage is an independently produced show created to give the DFW pole and aerial community a united outlet to showcase their passion and talent while building performance experience. We got our start as a way to help DFW pole competitors practice for PSO and get rid of performance anxiety and jitters. Little did we know it would evolve into a full community show!
This is an inclusive show that welcomes anyone within the pole, aerial, circus, Burlesque and dance community that wishes to perform. It is our goal to create a safe, welcoming and United environment. We are excited and honored to offer this opportunity to the students, instructors and studio owners of the 21 DFW pole, aerial and circus studios, as well as independent performers.
The Mission of Slay the Stage is:
To offer an opportunity to local DFW artist-athletes to showcase their talent and build their performer portfolio/resume.
To connect and unite our pole, aerial, circus, burlesque and dance community by bringing together our local students, instructors and studios.
To celebrate diversity in movement, body, style and level by showcasing and appreciating each performer where they are at now.
To entertain and share our passion as artist-athletes with the DFW community – and maybe even inspire the next wave of polers, dancers and aerialists!
Check out our next show Slay the Stage Volume 2 After Dark happening THIS month!
When: Sunday February 26, 2023 5-7pm
Where: Clique Studios 2650 Midway Suite 120 Carrollton, TX 75006
When I started pole 12 years ago I never imagined that it would lead me to where I am now. I feel so lucky to be out of Corporate America and growing in the Pole, Aerial and Circus Industry. Everyday I get to work with incredible people, helping them master their movement, bodies and businesses. This journey has allowed me to grow as a competitor, as a professional aerialist, as a coach and as a judge. The next level of this journey led me last year to become a judge for the US Pole Sports Federation (USPSF) who is the recognized governing body of Pole Sport in the USA as determined by the USA Sports Council. I am the first and only BLACK USPSF Certified Judge (woot woot). Stepping into the judging role for USPSF opened another door of opportunity and I am now the Athlete Chair for USPSF! I am so honored to join this organization as Athlete Chair and support our amazing Athletes! This is not only an honor but also a responsibility that I take seriously. It is vital that we get more BIPOC individuals as coaches, judges and higher ups in these organizations.
I’ve you’ve tuned into the last few blog posts, you may have noticed that I am shifting into a new gear and getting back to the root of my vision and passion.
When I started FlexyFit, its as originally about getting my physical flexibility and fitness back on track. However, as I progressed on this journey, I realized how much this bled over to other parts of my life. I realized how important it is to be flexible and fit in ALL areas of life and how being agile makes the ups and downs of life more manageable.
The ups and downs of my life got the best of me for a while. No shame…I AM HUMAN. But I hit the reset button and now I’m getting refocused and recommitted to what I set out to do initially. While not on any specific timeline, I am looking forward to bringing projects and goals to life and getting these resources in your hand, to your ears, and in front of your eyes.
More of what you’ll see me share will be based on things that I have found to be super important to me and to the work that I do with and for others. Some of those topics include:
My other love (besides flexility, fitness and aerials) which is business. Many people don’t know, but I’m not just a fitness coach. I am also a creative business coach. And when I’m not dangling in the air or coaching, you can find me putting my MBA and marketing expertise to use to help solopreneurs and small business owners in Fitness, Aerial, Health & Wellness, and Beauty achieve their creative business needs and better communicate with their community.
Supporting other Pole / Aerial instructors. Over the years, I’ve received endless questions about teaching, certifying, classroom management, teaching different body types, how to maintain my body while teaching 7 days a week, and more. So I will be sharing more insight into the solutions I’ve found helpful in hopes that they will help others.
Addressing issues I see too often in the pole/aerial world and ow we can do better.
everyBODY training. This one is HUGE for me. I started off as a non-traditional (or plus-size) pole dancer and this really impacted my journey and my approach to teaching. I am a coach for everyBODY and I recognize the need to educate others that are students, studio owners, teachers or plan to become teachers…because teaching and learning isn’t one-size-fits-all.
And then of course even more on self-care because it’s just so important! Being an advocate for yourself and taking an active role in your Health and wellness is essential.
Why these topics? Because these are the topics that are a part of my every day life. These are the things I get asked about most often. These are the things that I find are missing. These are the things that are woven into my DNA and I want to teach what I feel connected to and what my voice has a purpose in a passion for.
Goaling Better 2.0 is about a better way of setting and actually achieving goals that I have been putting into practice over the last few months – and with great success I might add. At its core, it’s about making the required habits and behaviors for accomplishing a goal, manageable and repeatable.
BTW, this is version 2.0 because as I was trying to think of a name for this post, I realized that I had already used the title for a previous post that I wrote about goal setting as we were preparing to enter 2020. (And what a wild ride its been since then, huh?!?)
So what am I doing now to make my goals, and the steps involved, more manageable and repeatable? I’m downgrading them. Did you just cringe a bit or see it as less of a win when I said downgrade? Well don’t. Downgrading naturally has a negative connotation, but I don’t think it’s a bad word. It simply carries the weight we give it. And in this case, I choose to see it as a helpful tool that creates a pathway to more consistent success. Slow and steady wins the race because its about consistency, and consistency is the key to results. Manageable + Repeatable = Consistency.
I’m sure you’ve heard the acronyms SMART as it relates to goal setting. (Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-based) and while each of these elements are important, for me manageable and repeatable are even more important. So now when I break ground on a new goal, whatever is my initial landing spot for that goal, I immediately think about the 1-stop downgrade. This serves as a bit of a reality check for me and also provides me with options so that I can adjust (or #livingflexyfit ) as needed.
Solving the Laundry Conundrum
I ask myself, will I really be able to do this everyday for the rest of my life? Or if every time an excuse may arise, will I take it? For example, I’m good about washing clothes. Terrible about putting them away. I’ve had months of clean clothes laying about for months at a time more times that I can count. And whenever I did finally go to put them away, it took forever because there was just show much. So I decided I wanted to get better about putting my clothes away sooner. Initially decided that I should put them away as soon as the dryer buzzed. FAIL. Half the time I do laundry it’s on my way out the door because #ProductivityWhileImOut is a major win. But not being home meant missing that call to action provided by the dryer buzzing. Then I’d get home and forget all about the clothes. Or if I was home, I was probably working and even less likely to be called away by a dryer and non-essential work.
So next I decided I’d put them away as soon as I took them upstairs, well the problem with that is I could leave the clothes in the laundry room and never take them upstairs and actually put them away. I finally hit upon a recipe that worked with I met myself and the clothing chore in the middle: as soon as I take them out of the dryer I take them upstairs and put them away. BINGO, for whatever reason, this works for me. I think the act of physically taking my clothes out of the dryer means that I’m already doing clothes chores, so I might as well finish. Plus when I do take the clothes out that means that I actually remembered that they were in the dryer and also that I probably have a moment of free time if I though about them and took them out. This also means that I have a max of 2 loads of laundry, instead of months of laundry. So putting my clothes away takes 20 minutes or less…way better than a 1 hour+ clothing marathon.
I know you’ve heard the saying, “if you want to floss regularly, start with flossing one tooth.” It’s so overused, but its so true. You really do need that spark and manageable approach. And if you haven’t read it, you should definitely check out the book Tiny Habits by B.J. Fogg – it’s an incredible gem! I’d love to say that I read it right before I made the clothing change and it changed everything. But the truth is I read it years ago when it first came out. maybe I implanted some of the things I read, maybe I didn’t. But now, years later, those lessons are coming full circle and making so much damn cents that they actually made change!!!
I share this to say that goal setting has to be manageable and we have to be agile about it until we find a working recipe that works for us. There is no one-size-fits-all for everyone, or even for the same person with different situations. Everything will need a tweak. Everyone will need a tweak. You have to keep tweaking until you find what works for you.
I leave you with these questions to ponder:
What is one thing you want to do or get better at doing that you’ve had trouble maintaining?
What about it prevents you from doing it?
What is a goal you can set now and what is a 1-stop downgrade to make that goal even more manageable and repeatable?
Thoughts, questions, feedback? Or just want to share? Comment below or feel free to email me anytime!
I’ve gotten this message and similar ones (Are you okay? Where you at? Where you been?) consistently over the last year. I feel lucky that people looked forward to seeing me pop up in their inbox and having more regular blog posts, and also bad because I feel like I fell off. Yea, you read that right, I FELL OFF.
The truth is: Life Happens. And despite my superwoman tendencies and desire to be invincible, the truth is I’m human. Burnout happens, life happens, injury happens, stress happens, trauma happens…and if, and after, you survive all of that then recovery has to happen.
During these times, for some, nothing happens. They cease to do anything. Me? I show up for those I’m committed to, maintain the essential commitments and responsibilities, and then everything else kinda falls by the wayside.
So many projects and dreams just put on hold and frozen in time.
The FlexyFit blog was one of those things sadly, along with my first real book, new ebooks and workbooks, master classes, another self-care social, a handful of new trainings, my personal pole/aerial practice, desire to become a USPSF judge, and more. So much of what I wanted to do and had planned to do just stayed in the orbit of my brain because I zombied out on myself, on life, on my goals, on my voice.
And despite my regular preaching of self-care and boundaries to others, I failed myself. I failed to fully and regularly practice what I preached and this took a serious toll on the quality of my life.
Then Something Happened and I Woke Up
Something happened though, I’m not really even sure what or when, but something happened one day where I just snapped out of it. I did that “Self Pep Talk”. Self: It’s time to get your body, your mind and your shit together. You know the equation to INSANITY way too well and you don’t even like math!
While it hasn’t been overnight and it certainly hasn’t been easy, I’ve slowly been finding my way back to ME. I’ve spent the last year reestablishing boundaries, getting to know myself again, carving out me time, protecting my energy, using my voice loudly and proudly, removing problematic clients and people from my life, eliminating unnecessary negativity and building a better environment that I can thrive and be happy in.
A big part of me coming back to me, is me coming back to you. Which is why you’re reading this now. As I return to my path, my mission and my vision, I do so slowly and methodically. I’m not coming back with any promises of anything other than doing the best that I can, when I can. And trying to be a better example to you by being better to myself.
If you can relate to any of this. If my struggles speak to you, drop me a note below or shoot me an email. Let’s connect, share and support each other. You are to alone.
Next post we’ll talk about one of the things that’s helped me on this new self- journey which is setting realistic expectations and the new way that I set (and achieve) goals.
WOW, this year literally went by in a flash. Can you believe we are on the edge of 2022? I must say that while the last few years have been full of cray, unpredictability and constant adaptation with everything going on in the world, it’s somehow led to a lot of growth. And I am thankful for the personal and professional growth I experienced, and I am looking forward to putting all of that growth to good use to be a better woman, a better coach and to continue helping you all reach your goals.
The greatest lesson I learned in 2021 was the value of my peace. There is no person, family member, client, opportunity, goal or amount of money that is more important than your personal peace and your ability to sleep at night.
Learning the value and importance of my personal peace helped me get clear on what really matters, who I am and who I want to be. I happily depart 2021, committed to leaving the baggage here. In 2022 I will continue to eliminate anything and anyone that interferes with my happiness and peace of mind.
This time last year, I sent a newsletter sharing my 2021 goals with you. I want to be transparent and review my results, while also sharing some of my intentions for 2022. Check out the screen capture below of my 2021 goals that I shared.
I’d have to say that I was mostly successful in achieving my goals, with a only a few tweaks/fails. One area that I surpassed was that I actually read 31 books..hoping to make that 32 by 11:59pm on 12.31.21! While reading was a focus, I did still manage to get a few new certifications, including Trapeze, Human Movement Specialist, Laypryders and Twerk.
I definitely made process eliminating clutter in my life and house!
On the vacation front, that ended up being a staycation, but I’m still going to claim it as a win! Ballet ended up being a Floor Barre class, but I met the most amazing instructor that I am happy to now call friend!
My Basic As Fuck Series has expanded from static pole basics to now have modules for Spin Pole, Floorwork, Conditioning AND there’s more on the way.
The only goal that I did not meet was my body goals. My weight fluctuated throughout the year around injures and life. What I did accomplish with my body, is some much needed vein removal treatments, which has already made a huge difference in the quality of my day-to-day life. I have two procedures left, and then I’m looking forward to getting back in the gym and hitting it hard, so that I can still accomplish my body goals.
A few other highlights include:
• Being a selected performer for the BGP + PSO #AmplifyMelanatedVoices Showcase Fundraiser
• Being a selected performer for Devour ~ A Night Of Pole & Dance In Place! Showcase Fundraiser
• PerformingTrapeze in two showcases with my Fly Black Aerialists family.
• Joining the Shine Fitness Studio team
• Working on my mental wellness
So what’s in store for 2022?
I plan to be come a Master Nerd and Body Sorceress and find even more ways to use my knowledge, experience and expertise to help all of you reach your goals.
• Read 45 books
• Continue developing the Basic AF Series
• Body goals: get my weight down by 15lbs, muscles popping and move better.
• Make my training space the most amazing space ever!
• Learn Rope, Straps and grow my Hammock skills
• Develop more courses, guides and resources to help my FlexyFit community with their goals.
2022 is literally right around the corner and this is the time where most of us usually start to list out things we’d like to accomplish in the next year. While personally I don’t believe that you have to have a major symbolic moment to start on new goals, I can definitely appreciate the rejuvenating effect something like “The New Year” can have on people. I want to take a moment to think about why some people are successful in reaching set goals, but others are not.
I think it comes down to being specific and realistic. It’s very easy to declare a desire to have a million dollars, meet a celebrity, get a good job, or the all time favorite “get in shape”, but what do any of these really mean and what do they look like? Meaning, how will you know when you get there? If we start off with a goal that is vague and not realistic, we will be less likely to keep pressing when times get tough, and we’ll be even less likely to reach that goal because it’s just a mental blob.
Whatever you set out to do in the near year, I want to see you be successful. So I want to share something that you’ve probably heard of a million times before, but I hope that if you’re not already using it then this time around hearing it will make al the difference for you. This is what successful people do when it comes to setting goals: they follow the SMART formula.
∙ Specific. You want to be precise about your goal. What it is and what it looks like. Instead of saying you want to loose weight, be specific and say you want to lose 15 pounds. Answering the following questions can also be helpful in this step. What do I want to accomplish?, Why is this goal important to me? Who else is involved?
What other resources or limits are involved?
∙ Mesurable.This is a way to track your progress. It may include answering and reflecting on things like: How much? How many? How will I know when it is accomplished?
∙ Achievable. Make sure that your gaol is realistic and reasonable. It should be something that is possible to accomplish with your current skills, reach, access, abilities, etc.
∙ Relevant. Why does this goal matter to you? How is it connected to you. We are more likely to be successful if the goal means something to us on a personal level.
∙ Time-bound. There needs to be a specific window of time for accomplishing your goal. It could be a specific day of the year or an interval of 30 days, 60 days or by the end of the year.
A few additional tips when it comes to setting goals:
1. Don’t skip any of the SMART formula steps. If you follow this formula you’ll know what you set out to do will be achievable so you have a higher chance of sticking with them and succeeding.
2. Be sure to document your progress towards your goals throughout the year with photos, videos and/or journaling.
3. Make sure you celebrate every little milestone along the way.
What goals have you set for yourself? Comment below or email me and let me know.
If you follow the formula above, it’ll serve as a map for achieving your goal and evaluating your progress along the way. And remember, no matter what you set out to do this year on the ground, in the air or in life, I am here to help!
Need help setting goals or creating a training routine? Let me know and we can set up a coaching session to help you with setting goals and making an action plan.
Ahh the holidays! A time full of family, friends, fun and of course food. But what happens when tradition and obligation conflict with your fitness goals and current lifestyle, and threaten your hard earned progress?
This is a question that I get often from clients. It’s also a situation that I’ve dealt with myself every year since starting my wellness journey. And it can be a tough, tempting and uncomfortable situation at times. One one hand, you may want to indulge, but on the other hand you don’t want to sabotage yourself over a few meals and desserts.
The true is that it’s more than just a few meals. That 2-7 day distraction (multiplied by Thanksgiving and Christmas) is enough to railroad your progress – if you let it. It’s been said that many people easily put on 8-10lbs (that they fail to lose) during the holidays and in just three years that’s 24-30lbs of weight gain. Now imagine what that looks like in 6 years…or ten!
I have good news for you! Despite holiday meals and vacations, it IS possible to stay on track with your fitness gains. I’m going to share my helpful hacks on how to combat calories and avoid social sabotage.
The harder approach: • Think about what means more to you? A single meal or YOUR BODY & GOALS? It can be hard to stand up for your lifestyle change, especially when the person on the other end is a family member. At the end of the day though, you have to remember that it is YOUR life, YOUR body and it’s been YOUR time and sacrifices, so only your opinion should be the one that matters.
• Don’t allow someone else’s insecurities, weaknesses or opinions control you. Most people give your their opinions based on their very own limitations that they live by. Don’t allow what controls them to control you. Their goals aren’t your goals.
• Speak up and stand up. It’s okay to put your foot down about what you will or won’t do.
• If you want to take your own (healthier) food, DO IT.
• Understand that its perfectly okay If you want to eat less of something or if opt out of going for seconds.
• Understand that in the long run, you will feel no less satisfied by not eating something [that’s not a part of your current eating lifestyle], but you are likely to feel disappointed if you gave into a day of crazy calories.
• KNOW that it’s okay to go against the norm. This year was my first Thanksgiving as a vegetarian. I explained my change in dietary preference and stood my ground. I had my fill of sides and desserts (without overindulging), took nothing home with me and was still able to enjoy my time with my family.
So I know what you’re thinking, all of those things are hard to do and you may not be ready to deal with the conversations or backlash. And I admit, being able to stand up for your life choices and lifestyle changes can be hard. It takes time to learn not only how to stand your ground, but to truly know that it’s okay to live life your way. So if you are in need of a few “non-confrontational” hacks here ya go:
• Drink LOTS of water. A full glass of water before you eat your meal will help fill you up. Water intake tip: you should be drinking 1/2 your body weight in ounces of water each day.
• Portion control. Each portion should be about the size of your fist or cupped hand.
• Chew, chew and chew some more. Thoroughly chewing your food slows down the eating process, fills you up and leaves you more satisfied.
• Eat a healthier meal BEFORE you attend your social event so that you can tell them you already ate and/or you’ll eat less while there.
• Share the gift of healthier eating and prepare a healthier dish to take with you and share.
• Eat less. If your weakness is macaroni (like me) then get your fill of that and skip out (or significantly cut portions – down to 1/3 or 1/4)some of the other foods that don’t bring you as much savory-joy.
• If its a family dinner then you typically know what foods you traditionally have. You can use this knowledge to plan out your caloric intake for the day. Adjust your earlier meals to allow for that increase in delish you’ll be experiencing later.
• DO NOT TAKE ANY LEFTOVERS HOME WITH YOU.
* This post has been updated from its original publish date 12.20.2018 *
Original Title: How to Stay on Track During the Holidays
Updated Title: Helpful Hacks for Keeping Your Fitness on Track During the Holidays
